Inchoate

Loving your work

(Picked this up in my email dragnet... no attribution. Enjoy!)

Summer heat frustration

Via email; thanks to Chris C.

PS do not link direct to this image! I will randomly rename it and leave something embarrassing in its place and you won't be happy! Link to the entry please or copy it for yourself, thanks.

Video entertainment

Random selection of stuff found this evening...

Bush's speech writer reveals all (spoof)

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog versus Star Wars fans - some of the funniest impromptu ragging I've ever seen

Unbelievably flexible dude...

How a remote Alaskan town solved its M:F bias (spoof Lynx ad)

Martial artist doing mad flips all over the place

Double trouble

Came up with this just now in an email conversation... What do you call it when you are invited to several things across town but can't make all of them 'cos you're in a wheelchair? You're "cripple-booked".

*keels over*

Oh, the irony

Just got this email about a book that's been on my wishlist for over a year, and that was ordered over a month ago...

Your order #026-5565489-2650012 (received 08 April 2005, 22:53 BST)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ordered  Title                          Price  Dispatched  Subtotal  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
1        The Art of Running: With the A 9.99 GBP   1       9.99 GBP 
         Sold by Amazon.com Int'l Sales, Inc. 

As it happens, my MBT shoes arrived earlier this week too.

I'll be up and using all this stuff soon!

Binary reflex

You know you've been hanging around computers too much when...

Dave Gould says:
  6 OR 7?
paulm says:
  7
Dave Gould says:
  scuse caps lock
paulm says:
  oh, in that case I don't know

Nike RunLondon counter-protests

The 10km Run London event this weekend, which has been essentially co-opted by Nike, is bound to see a lot of protests owing to their ongoing use of sweatshop labour and well-documented disregard for employee health. Calls for action are popping up for meetings at the finish line.

SweatLondon is taking a different tack - rebelling against the "bunch of lefty morons" and organising a "counter protest", to "support Nike in their hour of need"...

Virtual Bartender

Another do-as-I-say animated site in the mold of Subservient Chicken, comes beer.com's Virtual Bartender.

It recognizes a bunch of different words and phrases; I've collected a few like "beer", "hello", "kiss", and more below...

* beer, pint, ale (judging by the response to ale, this is clearly an American site...)
* hello
* bra, tits, boobs, rack, feel good
* give me head, beer back at my place (two favorites of mine) = gets her to fill glass from end of bar, no idea why
* hair
* love; more like "make love". I guess they never figured a guy might want just love ;-)
* coyote ugly; dance skit on the bar à la movie
* banana; guess...
* bend over
* head
* wet
* jump
* sleep
* party
* sing, rap
* spread your legs
* kung fu
* shoot
* aerobics
* yoga
* show me; friend appears with a couple of cans?
* (give me your) number
* kick, nuts

The best:
* kiss; brings on a friend...
* strip; this is pretty funny
* fight; fantastic!
* change, be filthy (or "be anything")
* show your bra = top off!
* ass, beer.com, show me your foot (er... beats me too)
* kick

Plus a bunch of others that get a barely disapproving finger-wagging.

Any more? Sling 'em in the comments!

Credit to Newgrounds for some of these

Dangerous intersections

A while ago on a mapping site I saw a link to Top 10 Most Dangerous Intersections (in the US).

Months later I came across this priceless newsclip: Dangerous intersection: 119th St W and 53rd St N in Maize, KS. You can't make this stuff up! Why, lookee here, it's a story about putting extra warning lights on that intersection's stop sign. You've gotta love the interweb!

Be sure to check out the Top Rated Stupid Videos (click on tab on the left for Top Rated), esp. the #1 slot, Pet of the Week.

Cheney Scarface

Fantastic movie mod of Cheney at the RNC by the Dangerous Squid folk.


Cheney Scarface

(The link above is to a mirror miscellaneousheathen.com; nice one guys).

Crackpots, I tell you!

Three entertaining quick reads,

The Ultimate Firewall Intrustion Prevention System. How to create a 100% secure firewall!

From the How-To-Tell-If Departments, rate your contribution to physics! And rate your Final Ultimate Solution to the Spam Problem (quite technical)

(Thanks to Simon for these via lpm)

KY Jelly Fake Ad

via Eva

Fantastic!

(More fake ads back here)

Fake ads

These via David Rosam who runs an occasional and generally decent quality jokes list (mail jokes at davidrosam.com for the hook-up),

(that should be "it's" -Ed)

And's there another dozen...

Who needs monkeys?

(Via Miles Gould on London.pm mailing list)

grep /dev/urandom 'Act One, Scene One. Elsinore, a platform before the castle'

No success yet, but I don't have to clean up as many faeces as with my last
experiment.
-- seen on Slashdot

Brilliant! Reminds me of the Infinite Monkey Protocol Suite...

Outstandingly crass Beckham joke

Occasionally one comes along that is so awful.... You've been warned.

"Posh recently won a gangbang competition: her shaven twat fucked the entire country in 120mins."

Beat that?

Alternative solution

A friend of mine was asking about where to get CDs pressed in San Fran to distribute copies of the latest PostgreSQL database at this year's upcoming Open Source Convention.

My answer,

Head to Kinko's and print up some business cards with a download URL :-)

"Congratulations! You've been selected from millions of online contestants to receive this FREE PostgreSQL database! Click here to CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

http://www.postgresql.org/mirrors-ftp.html"

It was meant as a dumb joke, but you know, it could just work...

So goddam f***ing stoopid

Why do you want Bush gone? Here's one take,

30s spot; woman in park (MPG) (via John)