October 12, 2005

Loving your work

Posted in: Humor

(Picked this up in my email dragnet... no attribution. Enjoy!)

Type and the truth will be told:

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 14:12 | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 13, 2005

Summer heat frustration

Posted in: Humor

Computer Frustration

Via email; thanks to Chris C.

PS do not link direct to this image! I will randomly rename it and leave something embarrassing in its place and you won't be happy! Link to the entry please or copy it for yourself, thanks.

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 19:17 | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Video entertainment

Posted in: Humor

Random selection of stuff found this evening...

Bush's speech writer reveals all (spoof)

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog versus Star Wars fans - some of the funniest impromptu ragging I've ever seen

Unbelievably flexible dude...

How a remote Alaskan town solved its M:F bias (spoof Lynx ad)

Martial artist doing mad flips all over the place

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 01:23 | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 6, 2005

Double trouble

Posted in: Humor, Injury Time, Language

Came up with this just now in an email conversation... What do you call it when you are invited to several things across town but can't make all of them 'cos you're in a wheelchair? You're "cripple-booked".

*keels over*

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 12:16 | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 21, 2005

Oh, the irony

Posted in: Humor, Injury Time

Just got this email about a book that's been on my wishlist for over a year, and that was ordered over a month ago...

Your order #026-5565489-2650012 (received 08 April 2005, 22:53 BST)
Ordered  Title                          Price  Dispatched  Subtotal  
1        The Art of Running: With the A 9.99 GBP   1       9.99 GBP 
         Sold by Amazon.com Int'l Sales, Inc. 

As it happens, my MBT shoes arrived earlier this week too.

I'll be up and using all this stuff soon!

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 18:35 | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 11, 2005

Binary reflex

Posted in: Drivel, Humor, Tech

You know you've been hanging around computers too much when...

Dave Gould says:
  6 OR 7?
paulm says:
Dave Gould says:
  scuse caps lock
paulm says:
  oh, in that case I don't know
Posted by Paul Makepeace at 03:02 | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 26, 2004

Nike RunLondon counter-protests

Posted in: Events, Humor, Political

The 10km Run London event this weekend, which has been essentially co-opted by Nike, is bound to see a lot of protests owing to their ongoing use of sweatshop labour and well-documented disregard for employee health. Calls for action are popping up for meetings at the finish line.

SweatLondon is taking a different tack - rebelling against the "bunch of lefty morons" and organising a "counter protest", to "support Nike in their hour of need"...

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 17:48 | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 12, 2004

Virtual Bartender

Posted in: Humor

Another do-as-I-say animated site in the mold of Subservient Chicken, comes beer.com's Virtual Bartender.

It recognizes a bunch of different words and phrases; I've collected a few like "beer", "hello", "kiss", and more below...

* beer, pint, ale (judging by the response to ale, this is clearly an American site...)
* hello
* bra, tits, boobs, rack, feel good
* give me head, beer back at my place (two favorites of mine) = gets her to fill glass from end of bar, no idea why
* hair
* love; more like "make love". I guess they never figured a guy might want just love ;-)
* coyote ugly; dance skit on the bar à la movie
* banana; guess...
* bend over
* head
* wet
* jump
* sleep
* party
* sing, rap
* spread your legs
* kung fu
* shoot
* aerobics
* yoga
* show me; friend appears with a couple of cans?
* (give me your) number
* kick, nuts

The best:
* kiss; brings on a friend...
* strip; this is pretty funny
* fight; fantastic!
* change, be filthy (or "be anything")
* show your bra = top off!
* ass, beer.com, show me your foot (er... beats me too)
* kick

Plus a bunch of others that get a barely disapproving finger-wagging.

Any more? Sling 'em in the comments!

Credit to Newgrounds for some of these

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 17:16 | Comments (53) | TrackBack

November 4, 2004

Dangerous intersections

Posted in: Humor

A while ago on a mapping site I saw a link to Top 10 Most Dangerous Intersections (in the US).

Months later I came across this priceless newsclip: Dangerous intersection: 119th St W and 53rd St N in Maize, KS. You can't make this stuff up! Why, lookee here, it's a story about putting extra warning lights on that intersection's stop sign. You've gotta love the interweb!

Be sure to check out the Top Rated Stupid Videos (click on tab on the left for Top Rated), esp. the #1 slot, Pet of the Week.

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 14:17 | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 3, 2004

Cheney Scarface

Posted in: Humor, Political

Fantastic movie mod of Cheney at the RNC by the Dangerous Squid folk.

Cheney Scarface
Cheney Scarface

(The link above is to a mirror miscellaneousheathen.com; nice one guys).

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 00:12 | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 2, 2004

Crackpots, I tell you!

Posted in: Humor, Tech

Three entertaining quick reads,

The Ultimate Firewall Intrustion Prevention System. How to create a 100% secure firewall!

From the How-To-Tell-If Departments, rate your contribution to physics! And rate your Final Ultimate Solution to the Spam Problem (quite technical)

(Thanks to Simon for these via lpm)

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 14:56 | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 30, 2004

KY Jelly Fake Ad

Posted in: Humor

KY Jelly Fake Ad
via Eva


(More fake ads back here)

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 18:24 | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 17, 2004

Fake ads

Posted in: Humor

These via David Rosam who runs an occasional and generally decent quality jokes list (mail jokes at davidrosam.com for the hook-up),

Clip Image002
(that should be "it's" -Ed)

And's there another dozen...

Clip Image001

Clip Image003

Clip Image004

Clip Image005

Clip Image008

Clip Image009

Clip Image010

Clip Image012

Clip Image006

Clip Image007

Clip Image011

Clip Image013

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 12:25 | Comments (9) | TrackBack

July 7, 2004

Who needs monkeys?

Posted in: Humor

(Via Miles Gould on London.pm mailing list)

grep /dev/urandom 'Act One, Scene One. Elsinore, a platform before the castle'

No success yet, but I don't have to clean up as many faeces as with my last
-- seen on Slashdot

Brilliant! Reminds me of the Infinite Monkey Protocol Suite...

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 12:15 | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 1, 2004

Outstandingly crass Beckham joke

Posted in: Humor

Occasionally one comes along that is so awful.... You've been warned.

"Posh recently won a gangbang competition: her shaven twat fucked the entire country in 120mins."

Beat that?

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 02:17 | Comments (2)

June 29, 2004

Alternative solution

Posted in: Humor

A friend of mine was asking about where to get CDs pressed in San Fran to distribute copies of the latest PostgreSQL database at this year's upcoming Open Source Convention.

My answer,

Head to Kinko's and print up some business cards with a download URL :-)

"Congratulations! You've been selected from millions of online contestants to receive this FREE PostgreSQL database! Click here to CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!


It was meant as a dumb joke, but you know, it could just work...

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 16:48 | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 29, 2004

So goddam f***ing stoopid

Posted in: Humor, Political

Why do you want Bush gone? Here's one take,

30s spot; woman in park (MPG) (via John)

Posted by Paul Makepeace at 17:46 | Comments (2) | TrackBack