Out of the fuzz!

June 6, 2005

Out of the fuzz!

Woohoo! No morphine for me today! After dropping the dose from 50/60mg to 30mg yesterday and then zero today I'm free of opiates. Toward the end of yesterday I was coming up as I hadn't had a Sevredol for most of the day and the difference was dramatic enough to freak a friend out. I took another one around 22:00 and she watched me sink into the slow pit which apparently was also quite odd.

Being on morphine is a terrible experience. Of course, having variously searing, thumping, crushing, stabbing pain is worse but make no mistake, being on opiate analgesics is horrid.

Injury status

The surgeon saw me for the first time on Sat evening and gave me his account of what's up. Contrary to what I've understood to this point, my left foot (the one that wasn't operated on, and which I thought was hosed) will be the first I'll be putting weight on. He was also "disappointed" that none of the orthopod team on my case or the physios had got me mobilising the foot this whole time either. To say I was a little pissed off to hear this would be putting it mildly. He ordered up a splint so that at night it's not flattened/pointing out which would ultimately cause the tendons and calf to shrink.

So since Sat night I've been on it like a demented nut - stretch bands, parcel tape DIY splint while they rustle up a proper one, hand work, self-talk. I can now bend it back beyond 90° and there's a fair bit of inversion/eversion which is the one that works the subtalar joint. This is still a bit sore so going easy on it for now.

Scat city

Used my wheelchair a couple of times recently, both for the purposes of evacuation. A side-effect of the opiates is constipation to an almost epic extent. After my fall I didn't take a shit for literally nine days. Tonight's movement was a fecal legend in its own right. Let's just say if I'd thought about it I would've snapped on the rubber gloves. Oh, did I mention the laxatives? OK, I'll stop now...

World's Best Constipation Joke

Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? A. It was solved after he worked it out with a pencil... Posted by Paul Makepeace at June 6, 2005 23:00 | TrackBack

Comments

Glad to hear you're drug-free at last Paul.

It's also good to hear that you're no longer bed-bound; has a general warning been issued to patients and hospital staff? It needs to be.

Posted by: Dom at June 7, 2005 17:52

Would love to hear a more detailed account of your bowel movements, Paul. Perhaps we could find apropriate terms for your prodigious birthing experience in the Viz 'Profanisaurus'?
p.s. Did you weigh yourself after?

Posted by: Claire at June 8, 2005 13:55

p.p.s.

'since Sat night I've been on it like a demented nut - stretch bands, parcel tape DIY splint, hand work (!). I can now bend it back beyond 90°. This is still a bit sore so going easy on it for now.'

fnar, fnar.

Posted by: Claire at June 8, 2005 13:59

That mathematician... did he discover it to be a natural log?

Posted by: Nik at June 8, 2005 15:28

Good to hear that you are up and about Paul. And that you are ummm, taking shits again. :)

Posted by: Pei at June 9, 2005 22:02