Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a gun-slinging drug-addicted waffle chef plagued by the memory of his family's brutal murder. She's an elegant impetuous bodyguard with her own daytime radio talk show. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt