Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a world-famous soccer-playing assassin with a passion for fast cars. She's a sarcastic kleptomaniac museum curator with the power to see death. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt