Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's an obese sweet-toothed paramedic for the 21st century. She's a cosmopolitan mutant archaeologist trying to make a difference in a man's world. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt