Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's an old-fashioned white trash paranormal investigator trapped in a world he never made. She's a ditzy Buddhist archaeologist with a birthmark shaped like Liberty's torch. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt