Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's an oversexed overambitious cyborg possessed of the uncanny powers of an insect. She's a strong-willed mute cab driver operating on the wrong side of the law. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt