Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's an unconventional skateboarding librarian with a winning smile and a way with the ladies. She's a radical wisecracking archaeologist who can talk to animals. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt