Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a maverick soccer-playing cop searching for his wife's true killer. She's a supernatural gold-digging bodyguard with her own daytime radio talk show. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt