Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a lonely chivalrous matador looking for 'the Big One.' She's a plucky kleptomaniac schoolgirl with a birthmark shaped like Liberty's torch. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt