Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a lonely misogynist paramedic on a search for his missing sister. She's a hard-bitten nymphomaniac angel living homeless in New York's sewers. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt