Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a Nobel prize-winning neurotic librarian living undercover at Ringling Bros. Circus. She's a cold-hearted hip-hop museum curator with the power to bend men's minds. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt