Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a gun-slinging drug-addicted assassin on the edge. She's a mistrustful insomniac archaeologist with a song in her heart and a spring in her step. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt