Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a Nobel prize-winning arachnophobic assassin fleeing from a secret government programme. She's a bloodthirsty gypsy hooker with the power to bend men's minds. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt