Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a gun-slinging drug-addicted firefighter with a winning smile and a way with the ladies. She's a wealthy hip-hop Valkyrie with a knack for trouble. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt