Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a sword-wielding drug-addicted jungle king whom everyone believes is mad. She's an artistic hypochondriac snake charmer who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt