Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's an immortal coffee-fuelled matador haunted by memories of 'Nam. She's a man-hating tomboy mechanic with only herself to blame. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt