Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's an impetuous vegetarian firefighter searching for his wife's true killer. She's a mistrustful antique-collecting pearl diver with the soul of a mighty warrior. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt