Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a hate-fuelled misogynist house-husband in drag. She's a strong-willed tempestuous soap star descended from a line of powerful witches. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt