Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's an uncontrollable misogynist astronaut on a mission from God. She's a plucky gold-digging opera singer who don't take no shit from nobody. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt