Based on the very cool They Fight Crime! by Andrew Wheeler & Alasdair Watson, this is a Perl re-write of their JavaScript so I could use it for my email signatures.

"He's a suave sweet-toothed card sharp plagued by the memory of his family's brutal murder. She's a bloodthirsty tempestuous femme fatale prone to fits of savage, blood-crazed rage. They fight crime!"

Another "they fight crime!"

fight_crime.pl.txt