Santa Will and Santa Ali G head out to find parties. Unfortunately for Somerset House (annual host to London's only outdoor ice skating set in a plush museum setting), we find them first.

After an all too brief skate (you didn't think that wouldn't happen, right?) Santa Ali G is manhandled off the rink by a couple of burly blokes. They beadily eye us leave but we are distracted on our way by a charming pair of ladies, natch.

Workin' to the bone

Continuing in our quest, we discover another opportunity to demonstrate uncompromising masculinity... By getting inside a JCB digger! Foolishly unlocked. Even more foolishly some kind person takes pictures. Yet more foolishly still, Santa Ali G puts the whole damn lot online.

Phone

What evening is complete without a can of beer, some gurning in a phonebox, dressed as Santa with blinkin' hats?

Temptation

Imagine, seeing a sign like the following:

Trust us, they're not kidding
We stay on that side of the wall.

OK, that really is it, we're off to a proper party. It's da end of da line...