Much as Santa Ali G would like to entertain you with pictures of Santa standing around and drinking beer, you'll have to settle for arses, roll-ups, and women.

Oh lordy, what on earth could happen next? No, surely not a real life reindeer? Random Santa taking a wazz in public? More laydeez? Surely not! This is England! This is Santa! This is a respectable institution! And Santa does exist...

It's a short stumble to Molester Square.